i hate your dog
Do you have a dog? Yeah? I probably hate it. Don’t get me wrong. I like dogs, in general. I want to have dogs some day. I just hate other people’s dogs. I don’t think most people should own dogs. The reasons are complicated, but I’ll do my best to explain. This post will contain some harsh reality for some dog-owners I know. Long-winded rant about why I hate your dog follows:
First and foremost is that most people can’t control their dogs. If you can’t control your dog, you should not own one. The reason for this is a basic consideration for other human beings. Some people are afraid of dogs. Some people are allergic to dogs (me). Some people just don’t like dogs. Some dogs can hurt other people. You need to be able to control your dog. If you can’t control your dog, you are being rude to other people, whether you realize this or not. It’s going to make you miserable, and when it’s not making you miserable, it’s probably making someone else miserable. There’s nothing more awkward/uncomfortable than going to dinner with someone, or to a party at someone’s house, at which there is a dog they can’t control. They spend every minute you’re there trying to keep the dog from jumping on everyone/everything, knocking drinks over, ruining board games, etc. It’s not fun. It’s not safe. It’s rude.
Second is that people get dogs when it’s clear there’s no way they’ll have time to give the dog the attention it deserves. This happens over and over. A person buys a dog, keeps it cooped up in an apartment all day, and is constantly making concessions in their lifestyle to take care of the dog at a bare minimum to keep it from crapping all over/destroying their apartment. How many times have you heard “I can’t do ________, I have to go let my dog out” followed by a deep, mournful sigh? Is this the joy that the pet was supposed to bring to your life? This neglect ties back into the first problem, which is that it leads to dogs that people can’t control. Having a dog is like having a kid. It should be a weighty decision that you make in tune with your lifestyle and ability. You don’t buy a dog just for the hell of it. A dog is not an identity. It’s a big responsibility. When my brother told me he was getting a dog, I told him clearly I thought it was a mistake. He poo-pooed me then, and he poo-poos me now. His dog Sam is a gorgeous boxer/pitbull mix, and she’s a lot of fun as long as you are outside. Otherwise, she’s a terror, and he can’t control her. It was a mistake.
Third is that indoor dogs and cats are nasty. Sorry. I know I am hypersensitive to this because I am allergic to dogs/cats/everything, but it’s really not pleasant to be in a household that is owned by a dog and not a person. As if it wasn’t enough to be in a household with a pet that won’t leave you alone because it’s FREAKING OUT because it’s the only attention it’s gotten that day, add in furniture covered in a thick coat of hair and dander and piss-stains all over the carpet. Yeah, sounds like a blast, I’ll be right over.
I’ve given it a lot of thought and I still really do love dogs, and I want to have a dog or two some day. But I am of the firm opinion that most of the people I know that own dogs should not. This is probably one big problem for Amanda and I because she loves dogs and particularly loves indoor lapdogs, whereas my ideal for a pet dog is:
- Well-trained. Note that “trained” here does not mean “well, she sits and rolls over .. sometimes.. if there’s not something more interesting in the room.” It means: does what I say and does not bother anyone unless given explicit permission. It sounds harsh and fascist, but for the reasons outlined above, it’s absolutely necessary.
- Outdoor. This is a tough one, but I am sticking to it. I would personally have a hard time with an indoor dog because it would probably kill me, but even if I wasn’t allergic, I wouldn’t want my home to be a loathsome deathtrop to anyone else that was. I think I long for a bygone era when dogs were only pets for people where it was lifestyle appropriate. They were functional companions suitable to their breed. Retrievers and labradors and terriers are fine if you live on a farm and, say, hunt a lot, and had room to keep your dogs outside. They’re not fine if you live in an apartment and work 40-50 hours a week. The result of this is simply a fat, annoying dog that you can’t control.
I think I am done ranting now. The inspiration for this post was Brittney’s post about her dog and a training regimen she’s putting her through. It sounds interesting, and I’ll definitely be following her progress intently.
You don’t hate MY dogs :-P
I totally agree with this blog as a matter of fact I feel you are being too nice about the situation and I would like to add a few comments. First of all not only are dogs a pain in the ass the owners who think that everybody likes their dogs are even more out to lunch. NOTE TO OWNER: I don’t want to hear your dog bark all day because nobody is home. I don’t want your dog sniffing my balls. I don’t want your dog hair all over my clothes. I don’t want your dog begging for food by the dinner table. I don’t want your dog shitting on my lawn. I don’t want your dog jumping on me at the front door. At most importantly I don’t want share a common area like a couch with your dogs open asshole all over it.
Lets be honest dog owners treat their dogs like people and it makes me sick. Its a fucking dog not a person. The dog can wait. Don’t talk to the dog in front of me like I’m not standing right there. “Oh don’t worry snuggles he won’t hurt you” Fuck you I want to kick the annoying smelly piece of shit. I love how dog owners look the other way when their stupid ass dogs fuck up something in the house. And the most important thing to remember dog owners: PEOPLE WHO DON’T HAVE DOGS DON’T WANT YOUR FUCKIN MUT IN THIER HOUSE! Get a grip! AND PICK UP YOUR DOGS SHIT DON’T THINK WE DON’T SEE YOU WHILE YOUR DOG SQUATS NEAR THE SIDEWALK WITH NO BAG IN YOUR FUCKIN HAND!
Indoor cats are not nasty as long as their litter is well-maintained. A lot of owners do a poor job of keeping the litter box cleaned, but it’s not anything near as complicated as keeping a dog.
Interestingly enough your post still makes sense if you replace “dogs” with “children” and I was pretty sure that that is the direction you were going until I hit the bottom of your post.
Hm, interesting. I am sure once most of my friends start swapping out kids for their dogs I will be able to make that substitution and re-post this.
I am stuck. My husband LOVES our dog, I love him too, but I absolutely HATE having a dog. I feel so alone. I know that it would break my husband’s heart if I insisted that we find him a new home. I think that I would be riddled with guilt and that my husband would resent me. I have tried to get him to take more responsibility for the care of the dog, but he only does it every now and then, when it is convenient for him. I have tried to talk about it to him, but he gets so mad at me if I even approach the subject and makes me feel like I am mean. Does anyone else out there know How I feel? Any Suggestions?
Susan, I know exactly how you feel. We had several huge arguments which resulted in me saying “Fine , if you want to keep the dog you look after it” weeks later we rehomed the dog (with just a little pressure from myself, gently reminding him that he has as little time as I do, dog isn’t really happy etc etc)with a friend of his mothers who trains dogs and has a farm, She recently sent us some pics and he really does look happy. Sadly, it probably is a case of you putting your foot down, when he realises that the dog needs feeding, walking, cleaning etc now, not later or when he feels like it he will probably be a little more ready to give in to your request. Maybe a little “I’m sure we’d all be happier/ less stressed if Rex went to……” It might also be worth checking with friends/family if they are interested, we were lucky like I said with the dog trainer/farm lady…..however it did mean giving away a £300 dog, but you will not regret it.
Good luck : )
I would never have believed how much suffering having a dog can cause to a couple who disagrees about how dogs should be treated in the family.
My husband and I never wanted kids but we love animals so we have cats, a cockatoo and a dog. As a child, when we had dogs, they lived outdoors, my mother did not want the stinky smelly things in the house and if my brother and I didn’t clean up the yard, you can guarantee the dog would be re-homed. At the time I thought this was incredibly mean and had my heart crushed several times but as an adult I know what she was going through. In my husbands family, dogs were treated like children and given table scraps while the family ate and “puppies never do anything wrong” and so I was chastised in front of the dog for saying no to it (you wouldn’t believe the power struggles this created). Did I mention the dog is bigger than me? He’s now an 18 month old, un-neutered great dane who thinks I’m his bitch.
Our dog is a disaster. We cannot agree on anything down to how much water we should give it in one sitting. I am strict, he is lax, the dog is confused and all we do is argue. It’s to the point where I am resentful all the time and hate the sight of the dog, mainly because if you can see the dog, you can smell it. I think we should rehome it, my reasons are many:
-Our yard is a sewage pit - my husband believed that the shit would melt with the snow and didn’t pick up any of it all winter.
-On average it eats a pair of my shoes per month. Every once in awhile, at night when we sleep, the dog will get one of my shoes and chew it in it’s bed. My husband, who stays up much later than me, will agree to tying him up on his blanket to prevent this but only does it for two nights max so it happens again… and again… and…
-It’s become aggressive toward me and growls at me because it rebels against discipline. He stares at me constantly.
-My husband kind of gets off on the fact that he’s got the biggest dog around and secretly likes it when people became afraid of the hound of the Baskerville yowling at them as they pass our yard. He’d never tell the dog to stop barking, he’d bark for entire minutes at someone walking by! I’m horrified!!! …and I know what you’re thinking but my husband doesn’t have a small penis.
-The dog has actually growled and lunged at children because he is treated like a baby and gets jealous of actual babies. Even more horrifying!!!
I’m at my wit’s end! I can’t go on like this. To someone who reads this post, you may think that I am not trying hard enough or am over-reacting but after living with this for half a year (we’ve had the dogs a year and a half) and my husband doesn’t see the problem and pretty much puts everything on me to change I just can’t help but feel that, one day one of us is going to leave home and I don’t want it to be me.
Hi Chris,
Personally, I have always, do, and always will love cats. I’m a cat guy. My wife and I own two of ‘em. And as I so often tell Sue, the only reason I abide Mocha, our Keeshond, is that he “adopted us,” as he was a neighborhood stray. (Some toolbag dumped him off in our community a couple of years ago.)
Other than that, I agree with most of what you and Ian had to say. Have you seen Magnolia? In the famous words of Frank “TJ” Mackey:
And, Phil, I will drop-kick the fucking dogs if they come near me.
-Tim
I need help. There are a bunch of wild dogs that continue to shit right in front of my gate. I have no idea why they choose that particular location. I remember I read somewhere before that you can put some chemical to prevent them from shiting at a certain location but I have forgotten what? Do anybody know of any technique to prevent dogs shitting in a certain location? Your prompt response is very much appreciated.
Thank you so much for your help.
Best regards…TKOh
The chemical that I would recommend is Propylene Glycol aka antifreeze: Soak a bag or two of cheap hot dogs in antifreeze (radiator fluid from your local auto parts store). Place the hotdogs in the problem location. Problem solved. By the way, this will prevent the dogs from “shiting [sic]” on anyone else’s yard as well… Hope this helps!
Uh, yeah. Put food out with a deadly poisonous, sugary tasty substance on them. What could possibly go wrong?!?
The dogs won’t be shitting anymore! Come on! You are so narrow-minded.
The antifreeze comment is just ridiculous. You are totally narrow-minded and it’s not even slightly funny. Dogs die from substances like antifreeze all the time and it is people like you and you’re cruel self who poison dogs because they don’t like them or their behavior. Well, want some reality? I don’t like you, or your nasty self, or your house, apartment, car, bicycle, whatever you even own. Get a life and I hope a little terrier barks at you and you run the other way like a little scared pussy.
For 27 years I have been attacked by dogs on numerous occasions. I have walked in their steaming crap and have been kept awake all night by their infernal barking.
Of course if you mention this to the great doggie people of this world, you will be threatened with ‘being sorted’.
I hate the vermin with a passion!