My Quiet Life

Some of the photos from the Scene's photo contest that I thought were noteworthy:

• Scott Simontacchi, “Eloise,” Bowling Avenue
• Holden Head, “Pasiphae,” East Nashville -- I actually found this photograph to be grotesque, but that doesn't make it a bad one. It did get me reading about Pasiphae. Pasiphae, in Greek mythology, was the daughter of Helios that fucked a bull and gave birth to the Minotaur, and represented the evils of feminine lust and excess. I am not 100% certain what the connection between her and this photograph is, but it got me thinking/reading, so there's that.

The cover story in the City Paper this week is on the Nashville Software School. It's a great read, and it's about a great program.

The NSS is a game-changer for technology and education in Nashville. I'm immensely proud of everyone involved of it and incredibly thankful to John Wark for his tireless efforts to get it going. Years ago, Nashville's first ISP, Telalink, had an intern program that accepted anyone and everyone for weekly meetings to teach and discuss just what this whole "Internet" thing is, anyway. I learned about everything from ISDN channel bonding to CGI programming (in C, no less, until I discovered Perl). I am forever indebted to Thomas Conner, Bill Butler, Tim Moses and everyone else at Telalink that helped us out back then. The roster of people that came through that program (me notwithstanding) is a veritable Who's Who of incredibly smart people here and abroad. Nick Holland (also a Telalink intern) and I tried to revive a similar program years ago (and I believe a young Eliza Brock was a member!). It fizzled, eventually -- frankly, due to the hustle of running a small biz -- a testament to the time and energy required for something like this. I had wanted for years to start something up again and I'm delighted that I don't have to (yay, laziness!). The NSS has done all that and more.

I'm a product of the Nashville public school system, and an aborted failure of our country's higher education system. A year into it and roughly $17k in loans later, I learned that if I was going to learn anything about technology, it wasn't going to be at a university. So, I've been in the private sector ever since. I would have killed for something like the NSS to have been around then. It fills a huge gap in our education system, and it makes me tremendously excited.

Some ideas I'd like to see emerge from the success of the NSS in years to come:

• The resurgence of an intern program more suited to younger people -- something to get high school-age students started and funneled into the NSS (or something like it).
• Something more accommodating to people still working full-time -- either a less aggressive courseload and/or after-hours courses.
• More advanced parallel tracts of schooling: systems engineering/devops, network engineering, and so on. These are all areas where schooling and expensive certification do exist, but pales in comparison to the education via the school of hard knocks. Something like the NSS could serve this demographic as well.
• Local business/govt-sponsored scholarships. I realize that giving out money for education is a hairy business once you get into trying to decide how to hand it out (merit vs. need vs lottery vs who-knows-what), but it could be done well.
• Failing that, or in addition to it: A way for federal money (Pell, Perkins, et al) to be available to students of the NSS. This is probably a long-shot for a variety of reasons, but it'd be nice to see this money redirected to grassroots programs like the NSS that are actually generating real skills and real jobs in a relatively short turnaround rather than padding the bottom line of elephantine institutions of higher learning.

Behold our east bank, withered and dying.

LP Field. I've said it before. I'll say it again here, so it's on the record. The construction of LP Field on the east bank will go down in our city's history as the worst thing that ever happened to its urban development. Aside from being hideous to look upon, this monstrosity occupies the entire east bank of the river -- urban space that could be put to any number of fantastic uses to develop and improve the downtown community. Instead, it sits empty most of the week, and it puts a stranglehold on connectivity between the two sides of the city -- an annoyance for the most part, an infuriating clusterfuck on gameday. I won't pretend to be an expert on the places it could have potentially gone, but I'd be hard-pressed to think of a location worse than where it ended up.

Now that the Titans are doing poorly, I vote we seize the moment and tear it down.

Today's entry in "random history tidbits I found while nursing a crippling sinus infection headache":

A doctor advertising the cure of onanism (masturbation) practiced on "North Cherry Street" -- now 4th Ave:

Onanism or Self Abuse.

How many parents have seen the reason of a gifted son go to ruin; have seen him fade away from their homes, their hearts, and their hearths, like a shadow of evening from the hills, and have turned in tears to the tomb to which he has gone down, in the bloom of, beauty and the meaning of existence, without. once suspecting that the darling hope of their declining years was a victim to a solitary habit, which, alas ! is so common among the young. Let those thus afflicted call on DOCTOR COLEMAN, No. 64 North Cherry street, or address him by letter. Post Office Box 502, Nashville, Tenn.

Now that's what I call ad copy.

While I have been on hot chicken kick lately, my one true love is the hot wing -- preferrably, traditional buffalo. However, a recent contender for my favorite wings ever are the "extreme heat" wings at Ghot Wingz. Despite not being buffalo (they are more of a saucey sweet/hot barbecue-ish type wing), they are easily my favorite, and are hands-down the best wings I've ever had in Nashville. So good, in fact, that I have yet to even try their buffalo wings because I can't forego the extreme heat.

I had them today, actually, and it got me thinking: we can all agree that the sauce is a key factor in what makes good chicken wings. But what about the chicken itself? This is clearly a huge part of the quality of the final product. To me, Knockout Wings is a great example of this. I really wanted to like Knockout Wings. They came highly recommended. They are located conveniently right down Jefferson from my office. Service is fast and friendly. But their wings just aren't good. I wrote in my yelp review that the sauce itself is good (although my opinion even of that has gone downhill lately), but that the chicken itself just tastes.. gross. The bones are small, and the meat, clinging desperately to the bone, has that sortof dehydrated and withered look, and the taste is much the same. Ghot Wingz' chicken, conversely, is excellent. Large (but not too obscenely hormone-induced huge like you find some places), flavorful, juicy wings.

So what is the difference? I realize that in this wide world, there are myriad ways to raise, butcher, brine, and season chicken meat that will all vastly change the end result. But I find it hard to believe that all of these local hot wing places in question aren't all just buying the same Sysco bagged frozen chicken that everyone uses. But maybe I'm wrong. Does anyone know? Are there different sources for worse/better chicken? Is it possible Ghot Wingz isn't using frozen chicken? Does Sysco offer different grades of quality that you can buy? Is it all the same chicken but different methods (e.g. baking before frying versus not)?

So, I decided to try my hand at making hot chicken. I loosely based it around this recipe. Before I get into the specifics, though, I want to pat myself on the back a little. Not for successfully making hot chicken, no, but rather for the fact that when I first tried it 5 years ago, I said to myself: there's nothing mysterious about this chicken. Magical and wonderful, yes, but not mysterious. It's obviously a shit-ton of cayenne pepper slathered over fried chicken. So while it may be heretical to downplay the mystery around Nashville's primary culinary claim to fame, I have to say: it ain't complicated. I honestly had a much harder time getting the fried chicken right.

That said, a few details, photos and questions:

• The assembled ingredients.
• I marinated the chicken in buttermilk and a random assemblage of salt, onion powder, and garlic powder. I added a little bit of ghost pepper sauce for the hell of it, but it was barely perceptible. The buttermilk marinade had been recommended to me often as a rather traditional way of doing things, but I'm not convinced of its merit. I'm no stranger to the science of how brining and marinating works, and I'm not clear on how buttermilk could have really penetrated the meat that much. It did provide a slightly goopier base for dredging in the flower and aiding a crispy crust, but that's about it. I think next time I'm just gonna brine it like normal.
• Safety first. I don't fry stuff a lot. You never know. Sometimes I set stuff on fire.
• An optional but highly recommended accompaniment. Chef's little helper.
• The resulting paste. Shortly after this photo I realized I needed to make more, and I did, and had a Sugar Accident. I accidentally dumped way too much sugar into it. In the spirit of my "eh, fuckit" attitude to cooking, I just rolled with it. This was a mistake. The sugar was a bit overwhelming and turned the gritty/smokey pepper flavor into a sortof sickly sweet crust in the end. The chicken was still good, but the sugar bumped it out of contention for "Great". Ah well. Similarly, I had a lot of trouble getting it hot enough. I added a bunch of chile to round out the flavor a bit, but I felt like I couldn't add enough cayenne to get the kick I wanted. Maybe the cheap Kroger cayenne I bought was old. Maybe I need to experiment with blending in some hotter peppers?
• This was probably unnecessary and pointless, but I added some cayenne to the flour before dredging. I figured it couldn't hurt, but maybe the pepper could burn and add a bitter flavor. I didn't notice. I probably won't do it again though.
• Dredged and ready to fry. Of course, I made a huge mess.
• I had the slightest bit of trouble actually frying the chicken. I was having trouble getting even the individually cut 8ths (legs and thighs) to cook thoroughly without the crust starting to burn. I had the oil temperature pegged at right around 330F. Do I need to go lower to give the meat more time to cook before the crust burns?
• And, as usual, I'm incapable of making reasonable portions of anything and wound up with Way Too Much Chicken. Normally this would be a good problem to have, but I have to admit, it's not great. The excess sugar in the crust is a bit much for me. But I'll suffer through it. Somehow.

So there you have it. I feel pretty confident that I can nail it the next time around. As I said above, this dish is not a complicated one, so I think I need to resist my urge to experiment and fuck around. The secret is in the simplicity: a shit-ton of pepper and fried chicken. What more do you need?

For those of you wondering why movies in the park decided to move from Centennial Park, I figured this quick translation of their press release might come in handy:

Organizers of “Movies in the Park” are relocating the 17-year-old event to the suburbs. Last year, Metro Police increased their presence at Nashville’s Centennial Park after several disturbances and gang related activity.

Translation: as usual, it took someone getting shot and massive public outcry for Metro Police to realize that they should maintain a presence at massive public gatherings instead of roaming in their patrol cars issuing speeding tickets.

The free Wednesday night event attracts thousands, and in recent years has become a popular hang out for teenagers not interested in what’s happening on screen. It’s put on by the Nashville Scene, which has announced a move to a field in Percy Warner Park on Highway 100.

Translation: "teenagers" keep showing up! Let's move to Belle Meade! There are no "teenagers" out there, if you catch my drift!

It’s less centralized, harder to reach by public transit and even more difficult to walk to. Those are all concerns raised by patrons to Scene marketing director Christy Bryan. But she says the Belle Meade venue is better suited for large crowds trying to enjoy a movie outdoors.

Translation: poor people can't get there. A regrettable but necessary sacrifice! *wink*

“We have to accommodate our vendors, and we have to accommodate our viewers, so this really was an issue of space and keeping this a place where people feel comfortable bringing their kids and their dogs and their families to come and have a good time.”

Translation: suck it, poors!

The movie showing June 6th is The Help.

Translation: We have absolutely zero sense of irony.

Photos that I liked:

• Andri Alexandrou's "West Nashville" -- I always have mixed feelings about shots like these. I feel like I take a lot that are similar: i.e. a very well-composed shot of nothing. That is, a photo without a subject. Not that there's anything wrong with that, and what constitutes a "subject" is up for debate, but I take a lot of photos where I look at it and go "welp, this is a perfectly composed picture of nothing". Not that this is entirely the case here. I suppose the downtown area in the distance is a subject, in a way. Regardless, I like it. Great lines and nice atmospherics. and stuff.
• Doug Lehmann's photo of Crema.

Not related to the contest at all, but Blake Wylie has been taking a lot of cool wet plate photos lately. They look great, but I think someone should tell him about digital cameras. So much easier!

Years ago I was at Lipstick Lounge and ended up pretty blitzed after a night of karaoke, so I tried to get a cab. After no answer from two of the three major cab companies I tried, I ended up at Yellow cab. A woman answered brusquely and the following conversation ensued:

me: "I need a cab at the corner of 14th and woodland"

dispatcher: "we don't do corners." *click*

Yes, that's it. I was bemused, thinking I had a wrong number or got disconnected somehow, so I called back and repeated my request: "WE DON'T DO CORNERS" *click*. The third time I called, I was going to just request "1401 Woodland" or whatever, but she recognized my voice before I even got half-way through the call and she hung up again.

I gave up and walked home -- a luxury I was afforded because I lived downtown at the time.

Consider for a moment what I might have done if I were less responsible and further from home? Nashville's transportation woes are more than an inconvenience -- they're tied to our problems with safety and drunk driving.

Nashville needs more taxis.

Okay, here's the thing. Food from a truck is awesome. It's great when you can grab some awesome tamales from some grandmother and her kids in a truck when you're in a hurry and running across town, or grabbing an awesome hot dog when you're late for a meeting downtown. It's good food and it's convenient and it's cheap.

The trendiness of it kills it for me. This is not a "i am too school for school" anti-trend thing. It's a convenience thing. Standing in a massive line in the hot sun in 93F heat is not convenient -- it's masochistic. While my coworkers baked in the sun to get cheesesteaks, I drove to Kroger and got stuff to make awesome turkey subs and was on my way back before the line had moved.

I'm not hatin'.. just sayin. Call me when the food trucks have reached market saturation and you can get food from them quickly. I'll be at Kroger.

Negative Nelly here, over and out.