My Quiet Life

Via the Nashville Post, I learned that various council members and city officials plan on swimming across the river to demonstrate its improved state and cleanliness:

The Cumberland once was once considered a septic tank with undertow. For a long time, the river's only saving grace with the EPA was that – unlike the Cuyahoga River in Cleveland – it never caught fire. The Cumberland was only removed from the agency's environmental hazard lists in 2002.

In order to change the perception of the river, city and environmental leaders are going to take the plunge and show that the Cumberland is on the rise. While we can brag that the fickle Blue Heron is now nesting on the banks of the river, apparently the sight of city leaders in Speedos will better drive home this message. (Note to Nashville TV stations: Please DO NOT broadcast this event in HD.)

If they really wanted to change the perception of the river, they might consider removing (or eliminating the need for) signs like these at riverfront:

Just sayin'.Chlordiazepoxide
Ambien online
Protirelin
Order fioricet online
Levothyroxine
Overnight xanax
Buy Codeine
Online consultation xanax
Is phentermine safe
Phentermine compare prices
Lowest price on phentermine
Soma online pharmacy
Hydrocodone online pharmacy
Phentermine fda
2mg xanax
Over the counter viagra
Herbal online viagra
Micronase
Cefoxitin
Hydrocodone drug test
Singulair
Link myblogde online order viagra
Naprosyn
Ditropan
Lozol
Lorazepam
Side effects of viagra
Purchase viagra
Phentermine 37 5mg
37.5 phentermine
Injecting phentermine
Opium
Hydrocodone cough
Cheap viagra online
No prior perscription tramadol
Amoxicillin
Addiction tramadol
Lexapro
Phenylephrine
Ethambutol
Purchase viagra on line
Viagra 6 free sample
Chloramphenicol
Cheep paris france phentermine
Buy cheap online uk viagra
Cyber pharmacy phentermine
Buy cheap vicodin
Nuvaring
Cod xanax
Efavirenz
Daunorubicin
Levivia and viagra
Best online deal for phentermine
Haloperidol
Klonopin vs xanax dosage
Online pharmacy prescription viagra
Tetrabenazine
Estradiol
Alavert
Fioricet online
Phentermine pictures
Depakote
Cheapest phentermine online
Compare phentermine
Discount tramadol
Phentermine and carbs
Tamoxifen
25mg viagra
Xanax precriptions
Hydrocodone medication
Glimepiride
Phentermine order
Toradol
Prednisone
Aldara
Buy viagra pill
Phentermine work
Phentermine discount
Adipex diet phentermine pill
Isoflurophate
Cytarabine
Sample viagra
Order phentermine online
Phentermine incrediants
Dianabol
Levofloxacin
How do i stop taking phentermine
Xanax no rx
Nevirapine
Xanax weight gain
Hexamethonium
Brand drug generic name viagra
Ambien overdose
Viagra for woman information
Naprosyn
Theophylline
Alendronate
Generica viagra
Aminophylline
Meridia better than phentermine
Does phentermine really work
Flexeril
Vicodin health
Phentermine and lexapro
Vicodin drug test
Cefdinir
Tramadol no prescription
Pravastatin
Alternative herbal viagra
Vicodin es
Viagra for sale online
Tramadol hydrochloride
Adipex meridia phentermine xenical
Filing income tax phentermine
Zidovudine
Next day phentermine
Order soma
Nutmeg
Meloxicam
Cheap prices phentermine
No prescription viagra
Phentermine cheap no prescription
Phytonadione
Ionamin
Do companies sell phentermine with low dose ingredients
Minocin
Metoprolol
Dioxyline
Iodine
Eprosartan
Macrodantin
No prescription cialis
Cialis comparison levitra
Afrin
Cheap phentermine without a prescription
Nonoxynol
How to use viagra
Keflex
Allowed cialis tag viagra xhtml
Doxepin
Phentermine sales online
Aspirin
What does xanax look like
Ampicilin
Diet drug fenfluramine phentermine
Zalcitabine
Viagra cialis levivia comparison
Esomeprazole
Pemoline
Xanax 2mg generic alprazolam 180 pills

Annoytement \An*noyt"ment\, n. [OF. anoiance, anuiance, escitement.]
1. The peculiar mix of annoyance and excitement at being woken up by fireworks at 10:30PM on a Wednesday.

For a private party, no less. It sorta annoys me to see public places hold private events. Merely for the fact that they're in a public space that suddenly I can't go to. Riverfront park, the shelby street bridge. I assume that the amount it costs to rent riverfront or the gateway bridge more than covers the cost of infrastructure to support closing it off -- city costs, police, etc. I hope. Right?

I meant to post about this a long time ago. You probably remember the headline about this new startling statistic:

Statistics released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in March showed that more than one in four U.S. teen girls was infected with at least one sexually transmitted disease.

Oh my god! One in four teenage girls is a dirty, vile slut! Kids weren't like this when *I* was a kid. Country's goin to hell in a handbasket!! and so on..

Except, the actual CDC press release says:

A CDC study released today estimates that one in four (26 percent) young women between the ages of 14 and 19 in the United States – or 3.2 million teenage girls – is infected with at least one of the most common sexually transmitted diseases (human papillomavirus (HPV), chlamydia, herpes simplex virus, and trichomoniasis).

The problem here is that of the four most common sexually transmitted diseases, two of them are not transmitted exclusively sexually: HPV and Herpes Simplex -- HPV being by far the most common. And as far as I can tell the study made no distinction as to whether or not the disease was transmitted sexually (how could they?) So, all this hysteria seems a lot less justified when you realize it's merely saying that 1 in 4 teenage girls has had either a cold sore or warts.

A few interesting things:

• I signed up for Capture Music City. It's some thing the Tennessean appears to have built for submitting photos, which will be selected based on popular rankings and published in a book. I am generally very wary of these "SUBMIT YOUR PHOTOS AND BE PUBLISHED!!!" offers, because it sounds cool, until you do a cursory value analysis. It's not that I anticipate making large amounts of money (or any at all, in fact) from my pictures -- it's my hobby after all. But that doesn't mean I want to be complicit in giving someone something for free -- which is essentially what a lot of these offers are.

  They put out the call for free submissions in a "contest" and voila, they have a bunch of photographers sending them pictures to use, for free, in a book they can sell. Everyone wins. The only upside to you as a photographer is the publicity and name recognition -- which, for a majority of these contests -- is virtually nil. So, everyone wins except you. You just gave away your crap for free. The Tennessean, though, for better or worse is a ginormous publication, so they'll at least have more exposure. So what the hell.

  So, I uploaded a bunch of crap. Go vote for all my crap. I tried to upload a selection of my pictures that were related to Nashville in some way (which is tricky if they are portraits or something). Go check it out and upload any pictures you might have. Oh, and also, when you participate in these contests, you need to be careful to read the fine print on the terms to make sure you're not giving away ownership to your work or anything. In this case, their terms of service specify:

  You also hereby grant to us a royalty-free, non-exclusive, worldwide right to copy, edit, adapt, distribute, perform, display, and/or use, the Materials, including any derivative works created from the Materials, in whole or in part, for use in the Capture Music City book, Capture Music City DVD, and promotion related to the Capture Music City project. In addition, you grant to us the royalty-free, non-exclusive, worldwide right to use your name, likeness, and biographical information in connection with the use of the Materials.

  "Non-exclusive" is the important part -- it means they are reserving the right to do whatever they want with your picture, but they're not trying to own it. Very important.

• nashvillest.com has launched -- go check it out.

Today's entry in the continuing adventures of the Great Nashville Homeless Hysterical Episode. All quotes are real. The names have been withheld to be nice:

Homeless man robs Dunn brothers at Knifepoint
...
According to what the owner told me, a black homeless man threatened his life in attempt to rob him. I walked in around 11:30 a.m. on Saturday morning and police had already handcuffed the man and put him in a police car. William met me there for coffee a few minutes later.

Just another reason not to live downtown for most Nashvillian's and why Tony will never build his condo tower for the mega rich. A guy cannot even get a coffee anymore without a homeless thug committing a crime. I would love to read if the homeless guy defends the homeless on this one.

Not sure how he knew the guy was homeless. Maybe he was branded with a scarlet "H".

Context to the next few. A couple that lives downtown was mugged last week. I have no doubt that this is a very scary thing to have happen to you, without a doubt, and I have nothing but sympathy. But .. anyways. Quotes:

I'm so sorry for what just happened to you, I hope you are ok. THESE GUYS WILL SOME DAY PAY FOR WHAT THEY DID!

This quote isn't that bad or anything, I just thought it was funny. Okay, batman. Anyways, the real beaut:

There's something else you could bring up if you have time, and if you agree with me. I think we ought to request that Public Works relocate some of the benches on Church Street to other parts of the downtown area...even as far as James Robertson. We've had the benches a few years now and all they do is encourage loitering and panhandling on Church Street. It looks bad for our city.

DOWN WITH BENCHES!! This will fix our panhandling problem for sure. Sigh.

ZOMBIES!! Nashville's first second zombie walk. I kept up for half of it before steeplechase fatigue kicked in and I went home. More pictures here.

"The more violent the body contact of the sports you watch, the lower the class." -- Paul Fussell

Ah, the American class sytem. If we hold Fussell's quote as truth, where, then, does Steeplechase fall? It really is a remarkable assemblage of people. If you haven't gone before due to any assumptions or misgivings you've had, please reconsider -- it's people-watching paradise. The entire thing fascinates me.

This year, thanks to CeeElCee and Fishwreck, I was hangin with the upper crust this year in the Stirrup club. None of this red-band nonsense like last year -- this year I was a SILVER band. Jackson and his lovely wife Sabrina were nice enough to pick my ass up downtown. The hilarity started as soon as we arrived -- our silver bands guiding us like a homing device to an empty air-conditioned shuttle, where I took a seat directly next to Jackson, waiting for the inevitable sardining to commence. Suddenly, I overheard a commotion to the front as a boarder was turned away, "Sorry, red-bands need to take a different shuttle -- silver bands only." We then closed the doors and took off, 7 passengers in a 35-person shuttle. I scooted out away from Jackson and put my leg up. "Fucking red-bands," I thought to myself.

A short jaunt through percy warner park later, we arrived at our destination, despite a minor 10 minute traffic jam, which we slowly realized was only 10 feet from our destination anyway. (The ladies in our shuttle didn't want to get out yet, because 10 feet in these shoes is still a long way!).

Horses jumping over a thing.

Things weren't really that much different in the Stirrup Club than what I remembered of the infield from last year, but it's always the little things that differentiate, right? Still had a row of portapotties, but there was no line. (They were, however, setup on a road with a precarious 15 degree slope. As Jim noted, if you weren't feeling drunk before you went to pee, you definitely were afterwards.) Lots more space, and about 1/10th the people. And a fewer percentage of the hats were bought at Target the night before (I mean, I couldn't tell, but I'm just guessing.) There was still plenty of bud and miller light, but each can was lovingly coozies and balanced by an equal number of flutes and glasses of champagne and sangria.

We setup a quick calcutta-alike on the first race (I lost), and then wandered down to the fence, where I took a few snapshots with my fancy new telephoto lens. As tempting as it was to sit in the shade drinking sangria in the pleasant hillside breeze, I felt an obligation to go experience all that Steeplechase has to offer. (Boobs) So, armed with my people-takin lens, I ventured off to the infield. Now, no matter how many times you look at a map of steeplechase, in my experience the best way to get from point A to point B is to just wander around until you accidentally get there. It was on this trek that the true power of my silver wristband really showed itself. I felt like I was backstage at a rock concert. "Sir, you can't go back there, do you .." *flashes silver wrist-band* "Oh, sorry, go ahead." Actually, I did get turned away from a few places because it wasn't the right gate for me to cross, or whatever. I'm sure there's some gold or platinum wrist-band that gets you all access. Or maybe a solid gold hat. Anyways, I digress.

On my way to meet some friends, I stumbled into the area of the infield that can only be described as "the pit". I don't actually know if this is in the same physical place every year due to ticket price, or if like-minded fellows happen to find one another, but it was there last year as well. How to describe it .. Have you ever seen Lord of the Flies? Yeah, it was kinda like that. With beer. The above picture of the unfortunate hog was in the middle of a crowd of about 10 shirtless young men playing some sort of primitive form of handball with full cans of bud light. One of them nearly took my head off with a can, but I parried with a dodge and a hand on his back. Big mistake -- he turned with a "time to dirty up someone's seersucker" look in his eyes, which fortunately turned to recognition. My brother's roommate. Saved, this time. He told me to meet them later at their spot, with promises of hunch punch they made. "Bring some chicks, they love that stuff."

Belle of the Ball

Finally, I managed to find my friends (using the stumble-upon approach), who were embroiled in the process of hitting on and/or getting kicked out by a lovely group of young ladies. It was around this time that I started ranting to Kevin about how amusing I find Steeplechase -- the seeds of this post, probably. A few beers and a few ladies' hat sizings later, I figured I should stop being rude to my hosts and get back to the Stirrup Club.

Shortly thereafter, my ride decided to head out, and I was feeling a little under the weather as well, so I left early (unlike last year). A quick shuttle ride and car ride later, I was home. Stark contrast to the massive traffic jam and heat-stroke/swimming drunkenness I had to fight through to get home last year.

The class displays at Steeplechase are endlessly amusing. It'd be easy to write-off a horse race as some pretentious upper-class affair, but that probably stopped being true around 1850 or so, at least in this country. And it'd be equally easy to look down your nose at the teeming masses of sweat and stale beer in the infield. It's not a serious affair -- everyone that goes pretty much has the same goal: drink some beer, eat some food, ogle sundresses and seersucker, and maybe, just maybe, see some horses race. There's nothing too pretentious about it, really, at least there shouldn't be. The most ostentatious display of class indicators tend to come not from that class itself but rather those that the most aspire to join it.

See you next year.